[Dylan ~ Seattle, Wa]
Heard on the streets of Seattle by a drunk girl crossing the street!
Drunk girl: Do the drunk drivers know that there are drunk people walking???
Rating
- 4.9: Like I said... (13 votes)
- 4.8: Racing under the influence. (34 votes)
- 4.5: But I'm only prophesying here (8 votes)
- 4.4: Ceramic violence. (12 votes)
- 4.4: Burn it and Turn it (11 votes)
- 4.4: Who invented the door bell? (10 votes)
- 4.4: Nothing like a professional drunk (7 votes)
- 4.3: Get rid of it. (15 votes)
- 4.3: What you are about to see is not a news broadcast (12 votes)
- 4.3: FatFat the Fat Cat (7 votes)
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Categories
Archive for the 'Beer' Category
Watch for Drunk Pedestrians
Posted by admin on September 20th, 2009Benjamin Button
Posted by admin on September 16th, 2009[Tad ~ Nj]
Drunk with my GF, I was teasing her and she shot back with this:
GF: You better watch it! I’ll Benjamin Button you in to next week! You’ll be 7 by the time you hit 33!
Pretty in Puke
Posted by admin on September 1st, 2009[Fred ~ Raleigh, NC]
A drunk friend of mine talking about the origin of tie dye:
Friend: It’s like some clown got drunk on rainbows. . . then puked himself.
Burn it and Turn it
Posted by admin on August 28th, 2009[Todd ~ Denver CO]
We were attempting to play Texas hold em’ after drinking and smoking. During one hand, we were waiting for the last card and we all sat there in silence for way too long, when finally our friend grew impatient and yelled out:
Friend: Who ever’s the dealer needs to burn it and turn it!
We then reminded her that she was the dealer and was even holding the cards.
The Garbage Man
Posted by admin on August 26th, 2009[Brad ~ AZ]
We were out drinking with our buddy, Tim because he had just broken up with a girl and was feeling pretty bad about it. When talking about it at the bar, this exchange happened:
Tim: I just keep wondering if it was the right thing to do, you know?
Kent: Well, you know what I say? It’s better to take out the trash, than to wind up fuckin’ it for ten years.
My Last One
Posted by admin on August 25th, 2009[Lars - San Leandro, CA]
My friend and I bought a 12 pack to split while we played video games. After I finished my 5th beer I realized he drank my 6th.
Me: Man, you drank my last one!
Friend: It’s cool you can still count after five beers, that’s probably when I lost track.
For the Technologically challenged
Posted by admin on June 11th, 2009[Steve]
Checkin out some webcomics with an older buddy of mine. Came across a real winner- when my friend exclaimed as if he was gunna die
Hit print man! I need that!
we printed it out for him… he says he reads it every day.
An inspired thought.
Posted by admin on June 8th, 2009[R. - Somewhere]
“we have to finish at least everything…
for those who can’t wait”
Like I said…
Posted by admin on June 3rd, 2009…We’re like doctors…
[Dr Smokey]
I just figured out the cure to cancer
I’ll write it down later
(Later that night)
Awe fuck I forgot the cure to cancer
But I’m only prophesying here
Posted by admin on June 2nd, 2009[Jack Mo ~ Utah]
Utah, I’m not as lame as you drunk I am!
And I was proclaiming this on top of a mountain