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Home, Home on the Range

admin — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 14:16:36 +0000

[Ladies Mary and Jane]

Same night, still high, starting thinking about home…And here’s what happened.

(singing)
J: Home, Home on the range!
M: Where the deeeeer and the cantaloupe play….
J: (laughs)
M: Wait…Cantaloupe is a fruit… (laughing her ass off)

FatFat the Fat Cat

admin — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 14:08:45 +0000

[Ladies Mary and Jane]

While sitting, once again, high, Jane looked at her cat, and this is what came of it.

J: Dude! My cat is so cuute! (gets up and walks over to FatFat, the FAT CAT!) Just look at his huge eyes!!
M: Dude, what? (as Jane picks up fatfat and smells him)
J: Oh jeez! He does smell good!!
M: What?
J: Dude! you have to smell my cat!
M: I don’t need to smell your cat!
J: Just smell my cat!
M: Whatever.. (as mary smells the cat) Dude, your cat does smell good.

Watch for Drunk Pedestrians

admin — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 08:41:35 +0000

[Dylan ~ Seattle, Wa]

Heard on the streets of Seattle by a drunk girl crossing the street!

Drunk girl: Do the drunk drivers know that there are drunk people walking???

Lets get tacos.

admin — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 08:38:42 +0000

[Jessica and Nicole]

While sitting high around the house this conversation happened:

N: Lets get Taco’s…Look there is some change right here…Shhhhhhh…. -starts picking up change-
J: Ummm…Nicole, it’s my change…
N: Shhhhhhhhhh…

Benjamin Button

admin — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:46:57 +0000

[Tad ~ Nj]

Drunk with my GF, I was teasing her and she shot back with this:

GF: You better watch it! I’ll Benjamin Button you in to next week! You’ll be 7 by the time you hit 33!

Hey, bro?

admin — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 21:53:26 +0000

[No one from no where]

My boyfriend and his friend were high and sitting on the couch when this happened:

S: Hey, bro?
R: Yeah bro?
S: Do you gotta pee?
R: No. man.
A few moments pass.
S: Hey, bro.
R: Yeah bro?
S: Do you gotta pee?
R: No bro.
S: Hey bro. I gotta pee.

And then he finally got off the couch to pee.

What do you need?

admin — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 17:47:42 +0000

[K. ~ NC]

My high buddy broke his silence suddenly with this:

Buddy: I need water. . . Just some plain water. . . I need water from your tap.

One of the Best Hits

admin — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 07:59:44 +0000

[Mark ~ Littleton, Co]

We were hanging out last Friday, passing a pipe around and my friend Heather took a really impressive hit, then this exchange happened between Heather and our nerd friend Tom:

Tom: Ooooo. That was the Dr. Octopus of hits!
Heather: Heh, What?
Tom: Duh, he was one of the best villians.

Pretty in Puke

admin — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 14:13:55 +0000

[Fred ~ Raleigh, NC]

A drunk friend of mine talking about the origin of tie dye:

Friend: It’s like some clown got drunk on rainbows. . . then puked himself.

I don’t wanna see that smell!

admin — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 01:40:39 +0000

[Ann ~ Tr, Albania]

While riding around baked and listening to loud music, we suddenly saw a big pile of tires burning, making lots of smoke and smelling awfully bad.

Friend driving the car: Could you please turn that thing off, i cant see anything!

Friend 2: No way man, i dont wanna smell the tire shit!